Hi Grrrrrobert, I’m responding to your comment, but this is actually more for other people who read your response and will read my words here. That’s because I have the feeling that the implications of my essay are terrifying for you and so you’re seeking refuge in argumentation as a way to avoid facing the possibility that what I’m saying here might have some merit. I don’t think you want to hear my perspective, you want to frantically defend yourself so that you don’t have to face the possible implications. So this one goes out to all the other people witnessing this, who are less afraid than you.

I have found that when my fellow White men (I’m assuming you’re White and a man, Grrrrrobert, please do correct me if I’m mistaken) are asked to consider narratives that might undermine their self-image, they look for a way out, any way out, and will go with whatever it is that they can grab onto. This is understandable, given our fragility that comes with our privilege. Grrrrrobert is offering us a great case study here, wherein he takes some things he doesn’t like about my writing and uses it to discount everything I’ve said. There’s plenty to critique about my essay, for sure! But his gleeful “nope nope nope” response to me reveals some real fear underneath.

One interesting question I’m sitting with…why does Grrrrrobert take my personal narrative as an argument? Why does he hear my story and try to figure out whether it’s right or wrong, rather than my personal truth? And what might it reveal about him? Grrrrrobert, if you are scared, I understand why. I come from that fear too. And the good news is that I have discovered that we can be bigger than that fear. If you want more, check out another piece that will likely be triggering for you but might also help: https://medium.com/@abelateiner/grieving-the-white-void-48c410fdd7f3